i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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