I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
