If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
