I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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