we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
