Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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