Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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