This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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