A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
