I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
