does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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