Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's never too late to be topless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
