I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
