just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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