Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
