i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
