you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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