And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
