Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
