he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Someone signed my nipple.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
