Have you finally orgasmed yet?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so let's talk penis.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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