My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
