I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
