Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
