hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
