yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
