I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
