chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
