Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
