..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
