trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
