i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
