Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
