Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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