Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
