my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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