i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
