how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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