jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
