I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
