8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
