everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
