She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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