He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
