I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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