As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
