I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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