Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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