Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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