Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
